Friday 10 February 2012


A year after leaving the work place, is a good time to look at the pros and cons.

Mainly, I'm glad that I can have more time for my God given role as a wife and mother. But there has been some readjustment. I haven't been bored-home education alone has been enough to stop me getting bored and there is plenty else to do.

Loneliness isn't an issue either-living in a family of eight. Some are quite little but my husband and older children are quite capable of providing adult conversation.

 There hasn't even been time to miss the ethical dilemmas-the issue of making the home a god vs having a home not fit for the purpose of hospitality has taxed me a fair amount.

What have I missed? Being a specialist, being asked for a considered opinion-all part of the bread and butter of being a consultant physician. Yes, my husband asks my opinion and listens but I do miss the collecting of facts and then presenting my view and advice. The art of medicine- history then examination and then investigations drawn together to make a diagnosis. Probably pride-why should anyone want my opinion and why should it matter to me? After all at the end of the day, God's judgement is all that counts and to a lesser extent that of those I am specifically given to serve.

Yes, I am a professional and have been a wife for over 20 years and a mother for over 18 but having spent so much time on other things, it feels like the bottom of the ladder. My imperfections nag me. Presentation isn't my thing. My school work would usually be correct or nearly so but there would be a comment about the spider that had crawled across the page. Not a problem in my professional life with a secretary to present my thoughts in carefully laid out documents, a cleaner to make sure the house was clean if not tidy and at one time, even a nanny to make sure the children were well turned out. Now, it is all my job and frankly, I'm not good at it.

It is unlikely that anyone will starve or not have clean clothes but making the house presentable for guests, that the children's clothes match and that there isn't paint on my clothes is a bit of a challenge. I'm teaching a child to write. It wouldn't be good to teach her to write like a drunken spider.

So I'm slowly reskilling. Stopping working was important so that I could try to obey the command to love my husband and children and loving them takes time and effort. Now part of that effort has to be working  at my weak areas. Maybe I will never be good at some of these things but these things have to be done remembering "Thou God seest me."


  1. I can't imagine how difficult the transition must have been/ be. I found it hard staying home when our oldest was born, and I'd not worked for long before that.

    Being a mom is the hardest (and generally least appreciated!) job in the world.


  2. PS - and I'm still not that good at it!

  3. Don't think I agree with your last comment, Henrietta. In many ways, stopping work, last year, was easier than it would have been after the birth of my eldest.

  4. This is very good. I stopped teaching to homeschool my own. It was both challenging and rewarding all at the same time. I am a grandmother now but if I could do it again, I would choose being a wife, mom, and homeschool teacher all over again and again. And yes, I too have weak areas that need reskilling even after all these years. But it must be a good thing in light of eternity, except all things will be perfect then, we included. Blessings!

  5. This was a very powerful post for me to read. I have been a SAH mom for most of my children's lives. I found going to work on the odd occasion extremely difficult and never even thought about the challenges that face working moms in coming home. I really admire you for the decision that you took. God really will bless you for your faithfulness.
    I have nominated your blog for two awards. Please don't feel pressured to take them up, just wanted to share your blog as I find it very encouraging.

  6. Petra, thank you. I would make the same decision again too.

  7. Thank you, Shirley. I think that I would find working now very difficult and in many ways, it was at the time-being away at a conference when a child got chicken pox or being on call when the same child broke her leg etc. In many ways the real issue comes down to understanding the commandment to love our children.

  8. Thank you so much for sharing, Sarah!
    I trust the Lord will reward you for making a decision that honours Him. How do I know it honours Him? Because it was centred around His Commands for women and because it was very hard for you but you did it anyway.

    I often long to have had the opportunity for professionalism and think about how wonderful it would be to use it to help people outside my immediate family. There is definitely the impression that what we do at home is nowhere near as useful. Chris reminds me that it is useful, though.

    It's also hard when you have so many friends who are great homemakers. I can totally identify with your feelings on that one (though I believe you and Henrietta probably underestimate yourselves). I suspect time has helped you very well. Plus, you've reached a level of parenting that I have no idea how to get to. From here, I am hoping that my children arrive at 18 years old and are able to read and function in society. Some days, I just don't know what I am doing.

    We definitely need people to point us how to love our children, as the Bible commands.
    Thank you for being another one who has done that. I really appreciate your posts.

    Beth Fisher

  9. Grateful for the encouragement, Beth. I know what you mean about hoping they can read and function in society. Being so close to the coalface, it can be difficult to see changes-that they can read more than two months ago etc. I often have to go back and remember that things have changed otherwise the daily learning, little by little, can be imperceptible.