A year after leaving the work place, is a good time to look at the pros and cons.
Mainly, I'm glad that I can have more time for my God given role as a wife and mother. But there has been some readjustment. I haven't been bored-home education alone has been enough to stop me getting bored and there is plenty else to do.
Loneliness isn't an issue either-living in a family of eight. Some are quite little but my husband and older children are quite capable of providing adult conversation.
There hasn't even been time to miss the ethical dilemmas-the issue of making the home a god vs having a home not fit for the purpose of hospitality has taxed me a fair amount.
What have I missed? Being a specialist, being asked for a considered opinion-all part of the bread and butter of being a consultant physician. Yes, my husband asks my opinion and listens but I do miss the collecting of facts and then presenting my view and advice. The art of medicine- history then examination and then investigations drawn together to make a diagnosis. Probably pride-why should anyone want my opinion and why should it matter to me? After all at the end of the day, God's judgement is all that counts and to a lesser extent that of those I am specifically given to serve.
Yes, I am a professional and have been a wife for over 20 years and a mother for over 18 but having spent so much time on other things, it feels like the bottom of the ladder. My imperfections nag me. Presentation isn't my thing. My school work would usually be correct or nearly so but there would be a comment about the spider that had crawled across the page. Not a problem in my professional life with a secretary to present my thoughts in carefully laid out documents, a cleaner to make sure the house was clean if not tidy and at one time, even a nanny to make sure the children were well turned out. Now, it is all my job and frankly, I'm not good at it.
It is unlikely that anyone will starve or not have clean clothes but making the house presentable for guests, that the children's clothes match and that there isn't paint on my clothes is a bit of a challenge. I'm teaching a child to write. It wouldn't be good to teach her to write like a drunken spider.
So I'm slowly reskilling. Stopping working was important so that I could try to obey the command to love my husband and children and loving them takes time and effort. Now part of that effort has to be working at my weak areas. Maybe I will never be good at some of these things but these things have to be done remembering "Thou God seest me."